All I know about child rearing I learned from Siddhartha

my life in five sentences
kicksave said Jan 21, 3:04 PM:
(I brought this from the diving deeper pod where I first posted it)

It wasn't what I'd hoped it would be, I did not grow up to be President, play for the Jets, Mets or Bruins.

I did not cure cancer, small pox or the common cold, or even manage to get my name to appear when you google me.

Never learned to play the guitar, piano, drums or ever ever ever sing in public.

I did finally learn that I am who I am for the things I did not do, as well as the things that I did.

I did bring into this world one terrific child who may do all of those things and more, or not and I love her for all that she is and for all that she is not.



Brightly, the ferryman's smile lit up; softly, he touched Siddhartha's
arm and said: "Ask the river about it, my friend! Hear it laugh about
it! Would you actually believe that you had committed your foolish acts
in order to spare your son from committing them too? And could you in
any way protect your son from Sansara? How could you? By means of
teachings, prayer, admonition? My dear, have you entirely forgotten
that story, that story containing so many lessons, that story about
Siddhartha, a Brahman's son, which you once told me here on this very
spot? Who has kept the Samana Siddhartha safe from Sansara, from sin,
from greed, from foolishness? Were his father's religious devotion, his
teachers warnings, his own knowledge, his own search able to keep him
safe? Which father, which teacher had been able to protect him from
living his life for himself, from soiling himself with life, from
burdening himself with guilt, from drinking the bitter drink for
himself, from finding his path for himself? Would you think, my dear,
anybody might perhaps be spared from taking this path? That perhaps
your little son would be spared, because you love him, because you would
like to keep him from suffering and pain and disappointment? But even
if you would die ten times for him, you would not be able to take the
slightest part of his destiny upon yourself."

Siddhartha, Herman Hesse Chapter 10

Perhaps the most influential paragraph I have ever read.  I try to remember the Vasudeva's comments when ever I grow impatient with my child.  When I find that I am clipping her wings, because I know that she must fly to high, crash into her own stone walls.  I can only guide her and pick her up and send her back out.  Love her for all that she is, and all that she is not.